


I Don't Think That I'm Okay

by uniquely_obsessed



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Has Daddy Issues, John and Dean hunt and own a garage, Lucifer was verbally abusive towards Sam in a past relationship, M/M, Past Abuse, Sam is a therapist for the supernatural, and no smut, there's a fuck ton of angst, there's fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-09-02 15:31:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8672767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uniquely_obsessed/pseuds/uniquely_obsessed





	1. Session 1

~Sam Winchester

Therapist for the supernatural and those who hunt them.~

 

Cas read the card over again. He knew that he needed to call up. He also knew he’d probably end up waiting for a month till he could get an appointment seeing as he still hunted sometimes. Sam was a specialist in his field, the only one of his kind. While his father and brother are off hunting and killing these creatures, Sam is trying to help them get over their daddy issues. This was why Cas needed him, as an angel you could say he had the ultimate daddy issues.

 

“Hello, Sam Winchester speaking, therapist for the supernatural and those who hunt them how may I help you?” this was it Castiel needed to do it.

“Well hello… I’d like to book an appointment?” that was it the hard part over.

“Okay, I’ll need your name and species?” Sam’s voice was something special, and Cas could feel it.

“Er Castiel and… Angel” this is where he thought Sam would hang up. He had heard the stories that something had gone on with the Winchesters and his brother, Lucifer. He was scared, Sam had never treated an angel since. There was silence on the other end of the phone.

“... okay, I’m assuming that you’ve heard about… my history with your kind.” he spat the words out like they were laced with venom. Cas sighed, “Yes… but I’d like you to know I’m not like Lucifer.”

“Well how does tomorrow at 5 sound.” Sam seemed hesitant to offer this but Cas quickly agreed and thanked him before hanging up. Tomorrow couldn’t come quick enough. 

 

~~~

 

5pm came and Cas was stood outside of Sam’s office, he walked in and saw a redheaded receptionist typing away at her computer. Castiel walked over and gave her his name before going to sit in the waiting area. Sam poked his head round his office door and called Cas through to him. He’s attractive, was the first thing to run through Castiel’s mind. 

“So Castiel is there a specific reason why you wanted to see me? Something you want to talk about?”

“Would you be surprised if I told you it was my family?” Cas said with a smile, earning a chuckle to escape Sam’s beautiful mouth.

“Anything specifically?” well if he was paying Sam he may as well unload everything.

“Well, I felt a year's worth of hurt and sadness catching up with me, and everything just got a bit much.” he paused for a moment unsure of how to word the next part “Lucifer tried to kill Gabriel” Sam’s face hardened at the mention of the devilish archangel, “Anna married a human, Micheal nearly caused another apocalypse” he added this with a glare, silently telling Sam he knows what him and his brother have done, “Raphael is probably dead and Dad is awol.” Cas felt slightly better already. Sam’s eyes filled with pity, he’d never really considered that all the angel business would affect the rest of the angels.

 

Now he was talking with Castiel, the angel was quite good looking (his vessel at least). No. Sam couldn’t think like that Castiel was his client, very attractive client, but client nonetheless.

“Do you think that this is your worst?” Sam needed an idea of how bad the issues were.

“I don’t know if I’ve been worse, I don’t know if I can change, but right now I don’t think… I don’t think I’m okay.” for some reasons these words pulled at Sam’s heart and he didn’t know why. 

“I think my dad lied about angel’s soulmates… and that takes away the one purpose I had left.” Sam’s heart broke. He never felt this way about clients, he would dehumanize their problems. Filter them down to cases that needed fixing. But Castiel had just wandered in and stolen his heart. No. Sam couldn’t fall for a client. Not an angel, not after Lucifer.

 

They decided to make the 5pm appointment a weekly thing, much to Castiel’s pleasure. Castiel left and Sam went home for the day, but Cas had not left his mind. He knew he shouldn’t be feeling this way but what could he do, the angel had set up camp in his thoughts and didn’t seem to be budging anytime soon. He was shaken from his thoughts by Dean ringing him with an emergency in the garage.

 

~~~~~~

 

“Dean” Sam called out as he let himself into the garage. “In the back” was all the response he got back. Sam found his brother and father looking disgruntled, “What did you want to tell me?” Dean looked to his father and nodded.

“He’s out.” John needn’t say his name Sam knew automatically who it was. Lucifer. Lucifer was back and Sam was treating his brother.


	2. Session 2

He wasn’t sure when he’d sat down or how long he’d been sat down for but he stood up and left. He needed time alone. To process the fact that Lucifer was back. The man who had mentally tortured him for months on end, who he’d allowed to because he thought he loved him. The first angel who he had treated turned on him and he swore to never break the no dating clients rule ever again.

Lucifer had strolled into Sam’s office head held high, and stolen his heart. Sam waited 10 sessions before asking Lucifer out, knowing either answer would mean they had to stop having the sessions. He was surprised when he said yes, and even more surprised when Lucifer kissed him. After celebrating their one month anniversary everything went downhill.

~~~~~~~~~  
Flashback

Lucifer and Sam settled into bed from being out all night, Lucifer rolled to face Sam.  
“You liked him didn’t you?” confusion washed over Sam’s features unsure of who Lucifer was talking about. “The bartender, you were undressing him with your eyes like some sort of truckstop whore. I can’t even look at you right now.” Sam had never been more confused. He had glanced at the bartender maybe twice? And while he was a good looking guy Sam was content with Lucifer. 

~~~  
The relationship continued on that way for months, always behind closed doors. Lucifer would escalate sometimes, never hitting him, just using harsher words. Until the day Sam ended things. He knew it was toxic and that he needed to leave but he loved Lucifer and couldn’t bring himself to do it. But when he used his grace to throw Sam into a wall, Sam ended it and drew the necessary sigils on the bedroom wall to keep the archangel out.

Sam cancelled all his appointments for the next week and checked all the sigils on the walls to his apartment. He would order food in and not leave until he knew more about the archangel’s whereabouts.

~~~~~~~~~

Through the week he got calls from his receptionist, Charlie, and she popped in a few times. John and Dean stopped by as well, giving him updates on Lucifer. Despite the news of Lucifer, he had another angel who he was supposed to be having an appointment with at 5, on his mind. That’s when he realised. He hadn’t rung Castiel. He hadn’t canceled his appointment and the raven haired angel would be wandering into Sam’s office right about now. Sam searched through his work phone hunting for Castiel’s number.

“Sam? Is something wrong?” Castiel sounded concerned. Sam wanted to tell him in the shortest way possible but didn’t know how.  
“Well kind of?... your brother is back in town… and I decided to… do my appointments from home this week?” What was he doing? He hadn’t seen any clients this week and now he was inviting this one, he’d met once, into his home? Something really was wrong.   
“Okay, what’s your address?” and with that Cas was on his way round.

“Castiel, come in come in.” he felt less awkward now he was here.  
“Please call me Cas… I know I’m paying you and I talk about myself… but what if this week I didn’t talk about myself and you still got payed?” Sam considered it. No one was going to know what he was talking about more than one of Lucifer’s relatives, so why not?   
“Sure, so how much do you know about me and… him?” Cas explained he knew the bare minimum, all he could get out of Gabriel.  
“So… He was verbally abusive… He never hit me, I don’t think he had it in him, but it still hurt… The night I left and came home he” Sam sighed, building up the nerve to say what he needed to, “He threw me into a wall with his grace, it was the one time that he got physical  
Well he’s back in town. When we broke up he didn’t take it well and I had to ward the apartment against him, hence why I had to invite you in.” Cas nodded trying to keep up “Lucifer disappeared and I haven’t seen him since… and now he’s back in town I’m scared he might try and come back for me.That scares me because how am I, a hunter and therapist, supposed to beat an angry archangel.” Castiel thought for a moment making sure what he wanted to say was what he meant, “With me, I can help protect you… you’re a Winchester so I’m guessing that you have done everything within your ability already?” Sam was shell shocked. He’d never considered getting an angel to help him hide from an archangel. But it seemed like a smart thing to do.  
“Thanks, I might have to take you up on the offer. I never got the chance to ward my office, could you do that for me, please?”  
“Of course, I’ll do it now for you” and with that Castiel was gone, Sam regretted basing all his opinions of angels on Lucifer, Cas was slowly changing his mind.

Lucifer had been his first relationship since coming out. He’d hidden himself in his childhood to make himself fit with his brother and father. But while they were checking out the cute girls, Sam was always more interested in their boyfriends. He got to Stanford and tried dating a girl, so his dad would have some reason to be proud of him, but he felt guilty stringing Jess along when he felt nothing for her but friendship.

Cas had always been taught to never trust hunters but he was feeling something for this one. Cas had only been told Sam and Lucifer had dated, it had ended badly and resulted in Lucifer trying to start an apocalypse. Sam had to talk him out of it and ended up in the cage with him, Sam’s stay there had been short but changed him. No one knew what happened in there. No one wanted to know.

“Sam… I might have been too late to your office?” Castiel announced as he reentered Sam’s apartment. Sam was confused, how could he have been too late Lucifer was only out of the cage for a week?  
“Your office looked as though you’d been robbed, and ugh these were on your office desk.” Castiel revealed a small box of chocolates, Sam remembered telling Lucifer they were his favourites.


End file.
